Pain Is Lonely

Pain Is Lonely

I have been lonely many times in my life. High school was very lonely. I surrounded myself with as many people as I could, never sticking to one group. I zipped from one group to the next like a hummingbird, making sure that I could sip the nectar from as wide a population as possible. I did almost the same in college. I made a few friends, but I never established roots that took hold. I changed dorms often and had some pretty wicked fights, and tempestuous relationships.

When I married the first time, I married into my husband’s friends.

By the time I married the second time, my personal and professional life were so intertwined that it was natural for me to marry someone I found through work.

This makes for a special brand of loneliness. A way of conveniently never getting close enough to anyone to ever get hurt by them. But, this form of friendship making comes with its own pain. These are the kinds of friends you never have trouble having a weekday lunch with, or inviting to a large party at your home, but what happens when you need a friend on a day off? Who do you go to when the pain hits?

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